Caution: Up To Date is designed to be read in a linear fashion, as each chapter builds on principles established in the previous chapters. For your best relationship success, begin with the introduction and progress chapter by chapter.
Introduction
With divorce statistics rising and promiscuity the norm, someone had to fight back, so in 1996 Joshua Harris wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye. With over a million copies sold, young people shouted a desire for truth and virtue in dating and marriage. They wanted a better way. Though he offered many good principles in his book, the pendulum made its full swing as young people discarded frivolous dating in favor of "no dating" at all.
Over subsequent years, while we observed a vast number of young couples in various settings, counseled misunderstandings, and listened to the brokenhearted, we saw that many were unwarily repeating the same unhealthy patterns, making the same subtle mistakes that eventually lead to disappointment and estrangement. We couldn’t help but wonder from where their dating patterns emerged. The light came on when we read I Kissed Dating Goodbye from the perspective of thirty-one years of marriage. We saw that many of the principles and dating techniques offered did not address the differing perceptions or emotional responses of both genders, which could only create confusion between them.
There is a better way. If marriage statistics were better a hundred years ago, what did they do differently? Though they may not have dealt with the identical issues we face today, the inner person was ultimately the same, and the principles of dating follow through. Combining these “retro” principles with appropriate tools for handling today’s unique challenges will significantly increase the chances of living "happily ever after".
A happy marriage begins long before the wedding date. Relationship guidelines, common courtesies, decision making, discerning, timing, acting and reacting to events and circumstances are all critical skills that must be learned before saying, "I do." While some dating books may touch on one or two of these individual components, we found no single comprehensive resource available - until now. Up To Date is a comprehensive step-by-step dating plan that creates confident expectations allowing for godly action instead of worldly reactions.
Some things in Up To Date may bore you, some things may anger you, but it should, at the very least, prompt you to do some serious inner reflection before you begin dating. No one promises that happily-ever-after includes no inconvenience. Dating requires a serious effort on your part to: 1) not do the things you really want to do, and 2) do the things you really don’t want to do. As does marriage, dating involves self-sacrifice and self-discipline, qualities you will need to practice as you read, accept, and put into practice the dating plan in this book.
Because God made us all different in character and situation, one must allow a small amount of flexibility to this plan, but don’t be too ready to make yourself the exception. Most people see themselves as the exception to any rule, which actually makes them the rule and not the exception. This plan must be adaptable, but history declares that minimal adjustment is the safest course for lifelong happiness.
Rationales
The biggest key to dating is to understand the rationales behind dating tools, techniques, and patterns, the defining elements within the relationship. These expose some of the unspoken (thereby unknown) interpretations of the often-confusing (and often confused) opposite gender. Our goal is to help the reader understand the rationales that allow for educated dating-decisions.
Are you ready to learn the practical tools of the trade? Let’s do it. Chapter one, here we come . . .
With divorce statistics rising and promiscuity the norm, someone had to fight back, so in 1996 Joshua Harris wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye. With over a million copies sold, young people shouted a desire for truth and virtue in dating and marriage. They wanted a better way. Though he offered many good principles in his book, the pendulum made its full swing as young people discarded frivolous dating in favor of "no dating" at all.
Over subsequent years, while we observed a vast number of young couples in various settings, counseled misunderstandings, and listened to the brokenhearted, we saw that many were unwarily repeating the same unhealthy patterns, making the same subtle mistakes that eventually lead to disappointment and estrangement. We couldn’t help but wonder from where their dating patterns emerged. The light came on when we read I Kissed Dating Goodbye from the perspective of thirty-one years of marriage. We saw that many of the principles and dating techniques offered did not address the differing perceptions or emotional responses of both genders, which could only create confusion between them.
There is a better way. If marriage statistics were better a hundred years ago, what did they do differently? Though they may not have dealt with the identical issues we face today, the inner person was ultimately the same, and the principles of dating follow through. Combining these “retro” principles with appropriate tools for handling today’s unique challenges will significantly increase the chances of living "happily ever after".
A happy marriage begins long before the wedding date. Relationship guidelines, common courtesies, decision making, discerning, timing, acting and reacting to events and circumstances are all critical skills that must be learned before saying, "I do." While some dating books may touch on one or two of these individual components, we found no single comprehensive resource available - until now. Up To Date is a comprehensive step-by-step dating plan that creates confident expectations allowing for godly action instead of worldly reactions.
Some things in Up To Date may bore you, some things may anger you, but it should, at the very least, prompt you to do some serious inner reflection before you begin dating. No one promises that happily-ever-after includes no inconvenience. Dating requires a serious effort on your part to: 1) not do the things you really want to do, and 2) do the things you really don’t want to do. As does marriage, dating involves self-sacrifice and self-discipline, qualities you will need to practice as you read, accept, and put into practice the dating plan in this book.
Because God made us all different in character and situation, one must allow a small amount of flexibility to this plan, but don’t be too ready to make yourself the exception. Most people see themselves as the exception to any rule, which actually makes them the rule and not the exception. This plan must be adaptable, but history declares that minimal adjustment is the safest course for lifelong happiness.
Rationales
The biggest key to dating is to understand the rationales behind dating tools, techniques, and patterns, the defining elements within the relationship. These expose some of the unspoken (thereby unknown) interpretations of the often-confusing (and often confused) opposite gender. Our goal is to help the reader understand the rationales that allow for educated dating-decisions.
Are you ready to learn the practical tools of the trade? Let’s do it. Chapter one, here we come . . .
