Caution: Up To Date is designed to be read in a linear fashion, as each chapter builds on principles established in the previous chapters. For your best relationship success, begin with the introduction and progress chapter by chapter.
Chapter Two
In Eden
"So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise
and what they do are in God’s hands, but no man knows whether
love or hate awaits him" (Ecclesiastes 9:1, NIV).
The first book on dating was written several thousand years ago by an inspired pen. Here, Matt Mattzela explains God’s dating plan from the first book of the Bible.
Seven Steps to a Godly Marriage
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:27). In the beginning God created us perfectly in His image of love. When we fell into sin, self-seeking replaced our selfless nature. God sent His Son to die for us, covering our sins with His blood and transforming us back into His image. This experience is described in John 3:1-21 as being born again. Step 1 is to be "born again."
Step 2 - Go where God leads:
"And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed" (Genesis 2:8). God didn’t put Adam just anywhere in the Garden. He put him specifically in "a garden" that was located "eastward in Eden". God has a unique plan for our lives. Once a person has been born again, surrendering fully, God replaces our innate selfishness with a desire to do anything for the God who did everything for us. He will direct our path whether it's attending school, working in a trade, or becoming a missionary abroad. A successful marriage requires full submission to God, which is demonstrated by going where He wants, by following His unique mission for our life.
Step 3 – Perform God's duties:
"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it" (Genesis 1:28, 2:15). Since sin entered the world, we are challenged to subdue the world with the transforming love of Jesus, and He gives us the strength to meet our responsibilities.
4) Keep God’s standards:
"And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die" (Genesis 2:16, 17). We must learn what He requires of us. We must establish firm biblical, God-centered standards, and have an intimate knowledge of Him on a personal level, which will foster a desire to live a life representative of Him.
5) Desire companionship and a helpmeet:
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof . . . but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof" (Genesis 2:18–21). God said Adam should not be alone, so He paraded the animals in front of him two by two until Adam figured out that something was missing. When Adam realized the nature of his lack, God supplied the need.
Desiring companionship is not to be bred by passion or selfishness, and the purest motive is demonstrated by choosing a partner whom we can support emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and who will support our God-given mission in return. As God draws us to nurture a relationship with Him, we will desire companionship that will further God's purpose.
6) Wait on the Lord:
"And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man" (Genesis 2:22). We’d think it crazy if Adam chose a gorilla just because it was similar and available, but he did not hastily choose a mate for himself. He was performing the task God asked of him and resting in His divine will, and God brought Eve to him.
7) Be willing and able to commit:
"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:23, 24). The final step is to separate from your family's home, make an unconditional lifetime commitment, and become your own family united forever before the Lord.
God's dating plan in summary from Genesis:
Synopsis: Be born again, go where God leads, perform His duties, keep His standards, realize your lack and, from a pure motive, desire companionship and a partner in His work, wait on the Lord to bring the right one to you, and be able to commit when He does.
In the words of another favorite author: "If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections" (Messages to Young People, 460).
"So," you ask, "I’m supposed to just sit back and do nothing but pray? Then one day I’ll wake up and find her there just waiting for me to propose?" Well, of course it isn’t that simple. Keep in mind that if you’re just an inanimate spectator, what is there for God to do—watch you? That’s not logical. A child of God must maintain a constant forward motion in order to move through God’s open doors or windows. Interrupting that momentum leaves Satan too much time and freedom to work on the forward path before you get there. God’s plan is that you do His will as described above and the rest will follow.
I invite you to follow along as we delve into a few nuts and bolts of Up To Date.
In Eden
"So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise
and what they do are in God’s hands, but no man knows whether
love or hate awaits him" (Ecclesiastes 9:1, NIV).
The first book on dating was written several thousand years ago by an inspired pen. Here, Matt Mattzela explains God’s dating plan from the first book of the Bible.
Seven Steps to a Godly Marriage
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Genesis 1:27). In the beginning God created us perfectly in His image of love. When we fell into sin, self-seeking replaced our selfless nature. God sent His Son to die for us, covering our sins with His blood and transforming us back into His image. This experience is described in John 3:1-21 as being born again. Step 1 is to be "born again."
Step 2 - Go where God leads:
"And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed" (Genesis 2:8). God didn’t put Adam just anywhere in the Garden. He put him specifically in "a garden" that was located "eastward in Eden". God has a unique plan for our lives. Once a person has been born again, surrendering fully, God replaces our innate selfishness with a desire to do anything for the God who did everything for us. He will direct our path whether it's attending school, working in a trade, or becoming a missionary abroad. A successful marriage requires full submission to God, which is demonstrated by going where He wants, by following His unique mission for our life.
Step 3 – Perform God's duties:
"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it" (Genesis 1:28, 2:15). Since sin entered the world, we are challenged to subdue the world with the transforming love of Jesus, and He gives us the strength to meet our responsibilities.
4) Keep God’s standards:
"And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die" (Genesis 2:16, 17). We must learn what He requires of us. We must establish firm biblical, God-centered standards, and have an intimate knowledge of Him on a personal level, which will foster a desire to live a life representative of Him.
5) Desire companionship and a helpmeet:
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof . . . but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof" (Genesis 2:18–21). God said Adam should not be alone, so He paraded the animals in front of him two by two until Adam figured out that something was missing. When Adam realized the nature of his lack, God supplied the need.
Desiring companionship is not to be bred by passion or selfishness, and the purest motive is demonstrated by choosing a partner whom we can support emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and who will support our God-given mission in return. As God draws us to nurture a relationship with Him, we will desire companionship that will further God's purpose.
6) Wait on the Lord:
"And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man" (Genesis 2:22). We’d think it crazy if Adam chose a gorilla just because it was similar and available, but he did not hastily choose a mate for himself. He was performing the task God asked of him and resting in His divine will, and God brought Eve to him.
7) Be willing and able to commit:
"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:23, 24). The final step is to separate from your family's home, make an unconditional lifetime commitment, and become your own family united forever before the Lord.
God's dating plan in summary from Genesis:
Synopsis: Be born again, go where God leads, perform His duties, keep His standards, realize your lack and, from a pure motive, desire companionship and a partner in His work, wait on the Lord to bring the right one to you, and be able to commit when He does.
In the words of another favorite author: "If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections" (Messages to Young People, 460).
"So," you ask, "I’m supposed to just sit back and do nothing but pray? Then one day I’ll wake up and find her there just waiting for me to propose?" Well, of course it isn’t that simple. Keep in mind that if you’re just an inanimate spectator, what is there for God to do—watch you? That’s not logical. A child of God must maintain a constant forward motion in order to move through God’s open doors or windows. Interrupting that momentum leaves Satan too much time and freedom to work on the forward path before you get there. God’s plan is that you do His will as described above and the rest will follow.
I invite you to follow along as we delve into a few nuts and bolts of Up To Date.
