Virtuous Christian Dating
  • Up To Date Home
  • About the Authors
  • Read "Up To Date" Online
    • Dedication and Acknowledgments
    • Introduction
    • Chapter Index
    • Chapter 1 - A Love Story
    • Chapter 2 - In Eden
    • Chapter 3 - A Rose by Any Other Name
    • Chapter 4 - Singleness
    • Chapter 5 - Internet Dating
    • Chapter 6 - The Real Reason
    • Chapter 7 - Love Analysis
    • Chapter 8 - The Plan, An Overview
    • Chapter 9 - A Trip Back in Time
    • Chapter 10 - Chivalry
    • Chapter 11 - Fine Tuning
    • Chapter 12 - Practical Prep
    • Chapter 13 - Essential Resources - Be a Minimalist
    • Chapter 14 - Screening Criteria
    • Chapter 15 - The Detailed Plan
    • Chapter 16 - Mix and Pour Marriage?
    • Chapter 17 - Do I Have to?
    • Chapter 18 - The Initiation
    • Chapter 19 - It's Official
    • Chapter 20 - Breaking News
    • Chapter 21 - Stop, Look, and Listen
    • Chapter 22 - Woohoo or Woo Who?
    • Chapter 23 - Advice: Who, What, When, Where, and Why Do I Care
    • Chapter 24 - Etiquette, Cause and Effect
    • Chapter 25 - Star Spangled Banner (s)
    • Chapter 26 - Breaking Up, Your Date's Bill of Rights . . .
    • Chapter 27 - Separation Anxiety
    • Chapter 28 - Crying, Coping, and Confidence
    • Chapter 29 - Communication
    • Chapter 30 - When to Share That Past
    • Chapter 31 - The Kiss
    • Chapter 32 - Keep It In Control
    • Chapter 33 - Wedding Bliss
  • Resources
  • Appendix
    • Steps to Christ, Summary
    • NEWSTART - A Healthy Lifestyle
    • To Those in the Observation Towers
    • Godly Advice
    • How is Your EQ?
    • Taste, Grace, and Mercy Article
    • Conquering Sexual Sin >
      • Science Proves Premarital Sex Rewires the Brain
      • Rage Against Addiction
      • Appetite, Sex, and Addictions - The Bondage Breaker
  • My Testimony
Caution: Up To Date is designed to be read in a linear fashion, as each chapter builds on principles established in the previous chapters. For your best relationship success, begin with the introduction and progress chapter by chapter. 

Chapter Five


Internet Dating

                                         "And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, 
                          because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:27).




It has always been said that opposites attract and for good reason—balance. When you marry, there are six people standing at the altar. OK, there are seven with the preacher but he doesn’t count right now. There is the one that you think you are, the one she thinks you are, and the one that you really are. Then there is the one she thinks she is, the one you think she is, and the one she really is. Even if who you "think you are" is pretty close to who "you really are", only God knows what you can become. Only God can know what traits of character you need in a spouse in order to bring His goals for you to fruition. You can’t choose, advertise, or guess those traits.

Having read the Genesis model about God’s original matchmaking plan, here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself before hitting a dating site:  Have I been serving God and following His plan while waiting on Him to provide? Did God promise to provide all my needs if I trust in Him? Do I believe He will actually do that? Is God capable of providing that one person, introducing him/her to me, giving him/her the draw to me, etc.? Has He done so, but my personal agendas (preferences) are blocking my view? Do I believe that only God can know the best timing? Can I advertise for the characteristics that God knows I need in another? 

Miracles are not miracles if everything goes according to our own personal time and place.  Sometimes God will leave us hanging just long enough so that we can demonstrate our faith in Him by stepping back and letting Him work. When in enough need, we can’t miss His miraculous intervention, which demonstrates His love and care for us as well as builds our faith in Him.

The author's biggest concern with Internet dating sites is both long distance dating and the  dating time frames that come out of them. Because of the relationship-focus, many meeting there drastically shorten courtship and engagement, talking about everything critical to marriage, marrying as soon as possible, but forgetting that extended observation is a much more reliable screening tool than volumes of conversation. Unless living in a close proximity, it’s difficult to observe an individual in their own environment for an extended period of time – and to skip this step is very risky.

Though people have been successful with Internet dating, is it worth the risk? Only you can answer that question. In the meantime, consider letting God do His work while you actively work for Him.
           
Another step in evaluating acceptance of singleness or preparing for a relationship is that of recognizing motive. What are our motives for seeking true love? Which are good and which are not so good? You might be surprised at your own answer.       

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