Caution: Up To Date is designed to be read in a linear fashion, as each chapter builds on principles established in the previous chapters. For your best relationship success, begin with the introduction and progress chapter by chapter.
Chapter Three
A Rose by Any Other Name . . .
"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. As the lily among thorns,
so is my love among the daughters" (Song of Solomon 2:1, 2).
Many dating terms have taken on a worldly taint amongst Christian young people, fostering a need to create new virtuous terms. I find myself rebelling against this trend. In order to lead our readers down a godly path in Up To Date, our definitions must be transparent. Let’s clarify a few terms before we jump into the meat of this dating plan.
Crush: a mild interest in someone, an interest beyond that felt for a friend. It can also be used as a pronoun identifying a person you would like to date but with whom you are not yet in an exclusive relationship.
Boyfriend or girlfriend: the one you are dating. These terms are used only in the context of an exclusive relationship, not for a crush. In Up To Date, it does not define any specific depth of involvement.
Significant Other (S.O.): the most significant person in one’s life, the one most trusted. This can be a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, girlfriend, or spouse.
Dating: officially hanging-out with someone you enjoy with the intent of ruling him or her in or out for marriage. The term "courting" can be substitute for the word "dating."
Date: a scheduled event involving anyone with whom you share a friendship or relationship. It can also be a reference to your girlfriend or boyfriend, i.e. "I noticed your date works at the bank."
Dating-around: dating, or wooing, more than one person at a time.
Wooing: an action that increases affection or love. Wooing can be done during or outside of a date, within or outside of marriage, intentionally or unintentionally, positively or negatively, but is not interchangeable with the word dating.
Love: "True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested . . . . True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding" (Adventist Home 50, 51).
Twitterpated: scatter-brained due to love. We do use it in the very best connotation in this book, even if our brains have "gone out the window." We have all experienced twitterpations a time or two. The first report we received from our daughter about the man to whom she is now married was, "Mom, he had to take me to a place where he knew the route like the back of his hand, and he missed three turns." He was, without a doubt, twitterpated: no harm done, a bit revealing, and if the situation isn’t dangerous—appealing. Remember that even though twitterpation wanes a bit over time, it doesn’t hurt to keep in practice.
Sappy: in Up To Date, sappy is the sweet, mushy, and good sentimentalism that is a part of all romantic relationships.
Romantic: an emotional expression. Since Up To Date discusses dating rather than marriage, the word “romantic” is used only with the most innocent and purest of expressions.
Engagement: after an appropriate time-span for dating, engagement is the verbal agreement to marry. On a unique note, we advocate engagement as the shortest amount of time necessary to plan a wedding, providing you've followed Up To Date's dating plan before the proposal.
Experienced: when one has seen years of predictable cause-and-effect patterns , has been in a successful marriage relationship, and has successfully reared at least one of their children until he or she marries.
Let’s recap: A crush is the emotion of mild favor toward someone of the opposite sex, or the term that identifies the person on whom the crush is bestowed. Wooing is the behavior, the action to draw someone to you emotionally. This can be the most fun but at the same time . . . the most dangerous. Dating or courting represents an exclusive, agreed-upon relationship, the process of getting to know another, which may involve planned and prearranged outings. Sappy identifies the sweet, romantic, but non-sensual aspect of love. Twitterpation is the brainless, but cute, adoration we all experience at some point, often prior to true love. However, twitterpation can coexist with true love—with a little effort. Girlfriend or boyfriend is simply that special-someone you are formally dating. Romance is expressing love or strong affection in a pure, non-sensual, innocent manner. These terms have only the most virtuous meanings in Up To Date. Apply them, and it should make this dating plan not only easier to understand, but a little less "worldly" as well.
Now, tag along with us as we peruse the most fearful term of . . . "single."
A Rose by Any Other Name . . .
"I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. As the lily among thorns,
so is my love among the daughters" (Song of Solomon 2:1, 2).
Many dating terms have taken on a worldly taint amongst Christian young people, fostering a need to create new virtuous terms. I find myself rebelling against this trend. In order to lead our readers down a godly path in Up To Date, our definitions must be transparent. Let’s clarify a few terms before we jump into the meat of this dating plan.
Crush: a mild interest in someone, an interest beyond that felt for a friend. It can also be used as a pronoun identifying a person you would like to date but with whom you are not yet in an exclusive relationship.
Boyfriend or girlfriend: the one you are dating. These terms are used only in the context of an exclusive relationship, not for a crush. In Up To Date, it does not define any specific depth of involvement.
Significant Other (S.O.): the most significant person in one’s life, the one most trusted. This can be a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, girlfriend, or spouse.
Dating: officially hanging-out with someone you enjoy with the intent of ruling him or her in or out for marriage. The term "courting" can be substitute for the word "dating."
Date: a scheduled event involving anyone with whom you share a friendship or relationship. It can also be a reference to your girlfriend or boyfriend, i.e. "I noticed your date works at the bank."
Dating-around: dating, or wooing, more than one person at a time.
Wooing: an action that increases affection or love. Wooing can be done during or outside of a date, within or outside of marriage, intentionally or unintentionally, positively or negatively, but is not interchangeable with the word dating.
Love: "True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested . . . . True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding" (Adventist Home 50, 51).
Twitterpated: scatter-brained due to love. We do use it in the very best connotation in this book, even if our brains have "gone out the window." We have all experienced twitterpations a time or two. The first report we received from our daughter about the man to whom she is now married was, "Mom, he had to take me to a place where he knew the route like the back of his hand, and he missed three turns." He was, without a doubt, twitterpated: no harm done, a bit revealing, and if the situation isn’t dangerous—appealing. Remember that even though twitterpation wanes a bit over time, it doesn’t hurt to keep in practice.
Sappy: in Up To Date, sappy is the sweet, mushy, and good sentimentalism that is a part of all romantic relationships.
Romantic: an emotional expression. Since Up To Date discusses dating rather than marriage, the word “romantic” is used only with the most innocent and purest of expressions.
Engagement: after an appropriate time-span for dating, engagement is the verbal agreement to marry. On a unique note, we advocate engagement as the shortest amount of time necessary to plan a wedding, providing you've followed Up To Date's dating plan before the proposal.
Experienced: when one has seen years of predictable cause-and-effect patterns , has been in a successful marriage relationship, and has successfully reared at least one of their children until he or she marries.
Let’s recap: A crush is the emotion of mild favor toward someone of the opposite sex, or the term that identifies the person on whom the crush is bestowed. Wooing is the behavior, the action to draw someone to you emotionally. This can be the most fun but at the same time . . . the most dangerous. Dating or courting represents an exclusive, agreed-upon relationship, the process of getting to know another, which may involve planned and prearranged outings. Sappy identifies the sweet, romantic, but non-sensual aspect of love. Twitterpation is the brainless, but cute, adoration we all experience at some point, often prior to true love. However, twitterpation can coexist with true love—with a little effort. Girlfriend or boyfriend is simply that special-someone you are formally dating. Romance is expressing love or strong affection in a pure, non-sensual, innocent manner. These terms have only the most virtuous meanings in Up To Date. Apply them, and it should make this dating plan not only easier to understand, but a little less "worldly" as well.
Now, tag along with us as we peruse the most fearful term of . . . "single."